Teaching your children through a mirror perspective

Our baby is 2 years old and turning 3 this year. He is now in the stage that he is learning and exploring things around him. Children are like sponge, they easy absorbs things but don’t really understand. I notice he does things the same way we do. Like he dances every time he hears music that are up beat like his dad, or he wears his dad’s baller because his dad has one too or wear his dad’s big shoes and walk around with it.


It is funny when he does this… It’s so cute.

But what I also notice is that he don’t just imitates funny or good things that we do but also many things that shouldn’t be done by a child. As parents, we of course disciplines our child/children by one way or another. When he does things that are not good we tell him “No, don’t do that. That’s bad!” or give him the rod if he don’t listen or if he becomes unmanageable (we give it on the hands only). Then at one instance, we heard him said “No, don’t do that!” to the people at our house playing with him. The people laughed especially my mom. Yes, it’s funny or cute hearing a little boy saying that.

But what does it really mean? It made me realize and think…It just shows that a child follows what he sees…he imitates. “What monkey sees, monkey do”.

Teaching them by saying things that are right from wrong or giving them discipline is good and that’s another thing. But what really helps them to learn, is if they see us (their parents) doing it as well. Like in a mirror, we see our own image. But for our children, we are the image they see because they still don’t have the sense of themselves but absorbs what surrounds them. As parents, we should be living as an example to them. How can you expect them to follow if you yourself don’t. For example, a dad tells his son to stop smoking but he himself smokes. How can he defend that smoking is bad, if he himself do it as well. Get the point?

It is important for us to be aware of how we are. It is a great percent of how they will become as a person when they grow up. The things they see that we do whether good or not, registers on their minds that it is okay to do because we are doing it. As their parents, it is our responsibility to guide them to what is right and not to what is wrong.

Because of this, we are more aware of our actions. If he does things that are not good, we check first if our actions have led him to be like that or the people that surrounds him. And if it does, we adjust or change the things we do. It helps us to teach and guide him better. This is both a learning process for us (the parents) and the child.


How Do We Parent – Giving Discipline with Love

parenting-featuredNo one really taught us to be parents even our parents.  Parenting is something we learn as we have our own. We see our parents as we grown up, how they love and discipline us. (Don’t get me wrong with this I love my parents) but at times there is something we see that they are doing wrong or we just don’t understand why they did that.

As I became one (a parent), my husband and I had a fear on how to bring up our baby. We had thoughts of maybe we might miss lead our baby, how to guide him properly, how should we respond properly if we are mad, how to apply discipline with love, maybe our discipline is over and etc. And I think many parents can relate with this dilemma. With this fear lingering in our thoughts, we never forget to pray and ask God for His guidance and co-parent with us in our family. I get our confidence and assurance from Him.

I’ll share to you how we base and apply our parenting by concepts (This is also based on the reading plan I’m reading through my mobile bible app). This will be in series (para hindi mahaba and boring basahin) 😀


Discipline and Love

We all know it’s hard to give consequence to their bad choice but we should think “What is the most loving thing we can do for our child?” Is it to just to let go and not giving them correction without learning or give them the consequence they earned to learn the lesson God designed for them.

A good consequence is given with understanding and care, applied with love and the respect for the freedom of choosing and his ability to learn from the consequence of a bad decision.

As stated in the Bible from…

Hebrews 12:11 (NIV)
“No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”


Proverbs 3:12

“…Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”


Discipline, Character and Hope

When our children suffer their consequence from their bad choices, our initial action is to save them or just want to protect them to not experience those pains and hurts. But what we are really doing is preventing them to learn. God’s plan is to mature a person through their trials.

“Character-building lessons are rarely learned from the triumphs of life. Rather, it is the trials in our lives that teach us how to persevere despite the pain.” – Parenting by Design (Mobile Bible App)

When we inhibit our children from experiencing their trials, we inhibit their chance to grow, build their character, and learn to continue in hoping in the Lord.

In Romans 5:3-5 (NIV) states that…

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)


How do we apply it? 

Right now, Pao-pao is now in his “Trouble-Two’s” stage in which he is exploring, learning and experiencing. When he do something that isn’t nice, we give him the rod or talk to him. We just give the rod on the hands, lower legs or butt. We don’t do it anywhere else and in moderation meaning not too hard. Just enough to let him feel a sting. And not many times, most is at 2. We give it only when he does something consecutively not good or something that is too much. As much as we can, we talk to him.  At times, it hurts to give him that because you can see him crying (even if you give it not that hard). Then after he has cried, we explain to him why we do it and explain what he has done wrong for us to give that. And we tell him that we love him, we want him to learn that’s why we are doing that.

But you know, when we have establish that (“If he does something isn’t good, his consequence will be the rod”), we have given him the rod lesser. He now knows that if he does or continues doing something isn’t good, he will receive the rod. But of course we remind him of that and then he stops and says sorry.

Just a reminder, don’t give the rod if you are in anger but instead in love. Always keep in mind, you are doing that because you love you child. And if in anger, you might abuse the rod.


I hope this brings added knowledge and enlightenment. Hope that you all like this and follow the next part.

Thank you… 😀